This post wraps up suggestions for “beginning within” to improve personal and, eventually, public character and discourse. Read the first installment here, and the second here.

As I hinted in the first post, disappointment inspired this series. I’m disappointed in an American public sphere that includes shouting, name-calling and righteous intolerance. We can do better. This third post continues to explore goals that can help us overwhelm that disappointment.

Work. Hard. Enjoy your work, but at the same time don’t live to work. I’m guilty of this; I often work overtime, sometimes at the expense of other, more important, parts of my life.

On the other side of the spectrum, don’t be a burden. A social safety net is necessary. It’s intended to catch those who cannot avoid falling into it. If you have an able body, use it. I cannot understand it when able-bodied people teach themselves helplessness and sink into life by charity.

Example, I was approached by a man on the street two nights ago. He gave me a story about needing a $27 bus ticket, and quickly added that he didn’t expect me to give him all of it, but would appreciate whatever I could give. I know I’m better off financially than many, so I gave him $1 (all that I had in my wallet). Not only did he act vexed that all I gave him was a free $1, he glanced as the ATM behind him as if he expected me to get more cash. Um, no. Whoever you are, don’t be that person.

As another example, I mentioned in the previous post that I volunteered at a food pantry for a while. I handed out free groceries for needy families. If I had a nickel for every time I took armloads of free groceries out to a family’s car, only to see a massive bass woofer in the trunk, I’d have at least $1.50. If you’re that person, get your priorities straight.

One last idea on work: Try to work ethically. Buddhists call it “right livelihood.” Work honestly and try to make that work reconcile with your own and prevailing ideas of right and wrong.

Save. This goes hand-in-hand with work. Again, a social safety net is necessary, but why would you not save? It only aggravates issues like Social Security and Medicare, which currently dominate the public discourse.

Moderate. I don’t advocate temperance, because I wouldn’t expect (or want) that of myself. I enjoy a drink now and again (and again). But soberness of mind means soberness of discourse and expression.

When I was young, my parents had a bar sign that read, “Never trust a man who doesn’t drink.” I like that sentiment. Somehow, people who don’t drink seem stuffy and Ned Flander-ish to me. Still, don’t overdo it. Same goes for drugs and cigarettes. No excuses for hard drugs like cocaine and heroin. If you like to smoke pot (which I maintain is safer than alcohol), fine, but don’t make it your lifestyle. As for tobacco, it’s a free country, but don’t ask me to pay for your health problems.

Moderation also includes ideas, but that comes back to the first goal, listening. Don’t get all of your information from the same source; your understanding of the world - and contribution to it - will be richer for it. That includes Fox News. That includes The Daily Show.

Work. Save. Moderate. Those are the ideas I have for now, though I may (and likely will) return to these themes. You might say I drifted. I began in the first installment of this series by asking of public discourse, what is constructive? How does one push ideas forward to improve things for himself and those around him?

In asking those questions, I quickly concluded that sound discourse begins with sound mind and body. I didn’t want to lecture, but if you made it through all of this, you probably felt quite a bit of finger-wagging. If you did, maybe you needed to feel it. I sure did.

And, in case you weren’t paying attention, let me distill this nearly 1,800-word diatribe down to two words that can do wonders for how we see and act toward each other in the public sphere: Begin within.

This post continues on the themes and ideas in the previous post. Those themes discuss matters of character and personal choice that contribute to a smoother, more sane, public discourse.

In the earlier post, I explored listening, learning and speaking up as important building blocks to mature interaction with others. They apply to chatting with strangers at the pub, friends at a party or family around the dinner table. They also apply to the podium, the political platform and (please, oh, please) cable television current events shows.

This post goes into more personal goals, though the same disclaimers described in the previous post apply. These goals help round out the person. Begin within.

Act. Okay, so you’ve listened and learned. What next? Practice. In this sense, I mean what Christians call “good works” and Buddhists call “right action.” Provide an example of good living to others through responsible, thoughtful and charitable actions. Open doors for people. Greet others on the street or in the office with eye contact and a good-natured attitude. Know that, save for the grace of God or circumstance, you could be that other person.

Part of acting is sacrifice — of time, money or knowledge. Whatever it is, pass it on. Volunteer. Mentor. I volunteered at a food pantry for more than two years, and that experience continues to inform my passion and compassion. Do things you don’t have to do just for the sake of doing them. You’re a richer person for it.

Cultivate. Go out and make friends, lasting ones. Watching TV the other night, I heard a definition of friend: someone who’ll hide you. If ascending fringes in society come knocking on your door with guns and grimaces, do you have friends who’ll Anne Frank you? Once you have a few friends like that, pay your people bills. Call them on their birthdays. Visit their home for dinner. Go shopping. Go fishing. That’s what friends do.

Lighten up. It’s frequently, gravely, unfunny. But life is still a joke. You enter this world and leave it in a blink. Why spend your time in between with your panties all bunched up? Stressed out? Knock it off. Take yourself too seriously? Chill out. This goal is not meant to drain meaning from day-to-day action. Just because it’s a joke, doesn’t mean it’s meaningless. Work past that nihilism, and laugh at it too.

Act. Cultivate. Lighten up. These goals build on the “begin within” ideas I put forth in the previous post. Again, I write these as a means of focusing my thoughts on what it means to be a constructive person and, thus, citizen. Any inspiration or challenge they may offer to readers is purely coincidental.

Next post: more constructive criticism of myself and others.

I put up a post recently that criticized people who sit on the sidelines and criticize without offering constructive ideas or furthering meaningful discussion. (And, yes, I’m aware of the apparent contradiction of the previous sentence.) It got me thinking, just what is constructive? How does one push ideas forward and help improve things for himself and those around him?

When I focused on those questions, my thoughts quickly moved from discourse to life choices - matters of morals and character. Citizenship begins within: If you know your convictions and act on them, healthy and thoughtful discourse comes naturally.

Begin within. That’s a good policy. In attempting to flesh out what I mean, I organized my thoughts into basic areas or goals. I’ll address each one in no particular order, but first the disclaimers.

This is not meant as a lecture. The reason: I’ve slim grounds to stand on. I wouldn’t call myself a moral authority. I’m human and, just like each of you, I have weaknesses and make mistakes. Rather, I set these forth as goals for myself.

I separate morals and character from divinity. I don’t begrudge those who put faith in a higher power and feel morality and good personhood derive from that power. Fine. I happen to fall closer to the agnostic and spiritualist camps. For the sake of this discussion, that means that I believe man collectively knows the rough outlines of right and wrong without the threat or promise of an afterlife.

Those are the foundations. Now, the building blocks.

Listen. If you want to talk loudly, as I’m prone to do with a few pints in me, begin by listening. (Talking loudly includes, in the Internet age, USING ALL CAPITAL LETTERS.) What is the person you’re debating, reading, confronting, whatever, saying? I mean really saying? Do you understand? If you weren’t listening closely, you may have heard the other person, but I doubt you heard the “why” of what she said. When I reflexively discount an idea, I often didn’t stop to think how important the idea was to the speaker or writer.

Learn. Treat life as a quest for knowledge. I enjoy non-fiction books, documentaries and good debates as part of my pursuit of knowledge. More faith-oriented people might enjoy deep study of the Bible or the Quran, going to church and good debates as their pursuits. Notice the overlap? Note that those examples point to specks on the spectrum. Discover the knowledge that most interests you, and then discover more of it. If you ever get the idea that your knowledge is more privileged or special than another’s, refer to the first building block.

Speak up. Responsibly. Think before you speak (or blog). Then think again. Then speak or write with clarity, compassion and honesty. Avoid using terms like “right-wing wackos,” “nazis,” “fascists,” “moonbats,” “idiots,” etc. They get old - quick - and dress the person subjected to your views in interpersonal armor. If we could rid public discourse of name-calling, we might even surprise ourselves with our maturity. This is the fun part, where you get to convey to others how important your ideas are to you.

Voting also falls in this category. Register. Take friends with you. Vote. See if your neighbor needs a ride to the polls. Elect rational people whose convictions closely match yours, rather than those of the wealthiest or most extreme among us. If it takes me a lifetime, I will get better at dedicating myself to my civic duty.

Listen. Learn. Speak up. Those are a start. If we all worked just a bit on each, we could leverage this country into a better spot. Next post: more constructive goals for myself and those who care to read.